Mamma Mia

Happy Mother's Day! I have one of the best mama's ever and I've done my daughterly duty and appreciated her yesterday and today.
But, as much as today is a gorgeous sunshine-filled day full of this undertone of human goodness vibes in the air I can't help but feel a little sad. If things had gone differently then it's very likely I would have been celebrating this day as an expectant mother if not already a mother. I always resisted the idea of motherhood until recently. A flip switched and suddenly I looked at all the pregnant women with envy. Unfortunately, my situation changed and now here I am single and childless. I guess in today's modern world I could become a single mother, but call me old fashioned but I want the whole package.
I went to a baby shower not too long ago and as much as I loved the mother-to-be and all the wonderful ladies there, there was also a newborn there. I sat a minute with the baby, away from all the laughter and conversation and my heart began to ache to intensely. I wanted a sweet little human to call my own.But,  I want it to be born to a mother and father who are so deeply in love and waited impatiently for its arrival.
So, obviously step one is to find a man to love me. A man I can love. And a real love. I could easily find a man to love me and I could probably even love that man to a certain extent, but the real love is the kicker. Am I willing to compromise on the type of love just so I can get on with my life and have a family before its too late? The answer is no. I tried that.
As long as humans have inhabited the earth we have sought love. I love the saying that before we are born we are a complete soul, but when we come to earth that soul is divided and we spend our lives searching for our soulmate. I love it because it gives me hope that I do have a perfect mate out there. Unfortunately in this day of compromise, what if he is already married or chose a path that will never bring him into my life? To think that in this world populated by billions of humans only one will truly be my mate is frankly terrifying. I'm not a very lucky girl to begin with and those odds are not in my favor at all.
Maybe I just need to get a pet.