Folks I am here to tell you that I chose my blog title aptly. I err and I regret, but I find I do it much less often than I used to. I did it again last night. I may have ruined a relationship with a friend due to impulsiveness and speaking before thinking. I could chalk it up to female emotion or being tired, but I have no respect for people who always rely on excuses rather than admitting their wrongs. Regardless of my hormones, lack of sleep or anything else, I said and did things I knew I shouldn't have.
You know that half second after your thoughts become sound waves and you just heard yourself speak? That my friend is the birthplace of regret. Your words are now out there. There is no going back and there is no fixing it. I know regret can come from words, actions, inaction and words unspoken. I did a little bit of all of the above last night. I said things I shouldn't have, didn't say things I should have, did things I shouldn't have and didn't do things I should have.
This ain't my first rodeo so I knew that the only way to minimize damage done if at all possible is to immediately apologize. I did so and now the rest is on the other person. This is the moment where you hope that the people in your life are much wiser and kinder than you are. I don't know how it will turn out, but I know that it affected me today.
I was crabby and cranky and all because I was angry at myself and regretful and ashamed of my behavior. At the end of the day regret is a great teacher. It can cause physical sickness all in an effort to teach you to stop and consider your actions and avoid such actions in the future.
I think the biggest lesson of regret is that it reminds you that no matter how you secretly pat yourself on the back for being a great person that you still have a long long way to go. A life without regret doesn't exist and I wouldn't want it to. If it didn't then when would you ever pause and have these moments of growth? But, they are called growing pains for a reason.
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